A sad thought just occurred to me while reading Gavin's blog (after a really long time). It's like I don't really know much about him anymore, especially since his new life in SMU. I come to realise that even with planning and organising S21 outings, all seem to be for naught. We meet up, chit-chat, talk plenty of crap, make fun of each other. Yet at the end of the day, do we know or understand each other more? Instead we (maybe only me or the others do not care) get more confused about each other's lives. How so? When it comes to serious stuff, we joke around alot, dishing out stories that are believable but turn out untrue.

I understand that university does put a great toll on us both physically and mentally. Plus quite a few of us are attached. However, I do feel that sometimes the others are hiding things. Maybe they just don't feel comfortable telling some of us anymore? It's been weighing on my mind for some time but i have been telling myself that i'm just thinking too much. I mean... If anyone of them met with something good (marriage? Abit far but not impossible!) or bad, are we the first grp or the last grp to know? I hope my fears are not true.

Just recently, I had one of my best SJI pals come talk to me about his fears on our clique falling apart. Of cuz I told him that it would not happen. I will help him try and pull back whatever remaining bonds the others hold. Afterall, we've been good friends for about 8-9 yrs?! It's hard to admit but situations make friends drift apart and find new friends. Even so, we can't just sit and watch the friendship disappear. Yet, it dawned on me that friendships is not a one-sided thing. If the rest of them are so involved with their new-found friends, finding girls they can hook up with and neglecting us in the process, things become quite pointless.

It can be depressing when I express concern over some matters and all they can manage is shrug them away with one-liners. Hello, I'm here ready to listen and you just shut the door on me?

I just wanna say to myself again and to whosever's reading this: Gatherings are not enough! I think we need some sincere soul-soul talk among ourselves soon (over alcohol or coffee maybe LOL), find out what's been missing and see if things could go back the way it was before. I may sound a little nosey trying to find out what's been going on in their lives, but if a friend doesn't know what is going on in his friends' lives, aren't we just strangers? The friends I could confide in are becoming fragments of my history.